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erica
My boyfriend has just started chemo....?
we are in a long distance relationship and as soon as I found out he had cancer, I bought a ticket to go see him. The thing is, that he doesnt want me to be there now tha he is starting the treatment because he knows that he is not going to be feeling good and he will be going through a lot. He is begging me not to come because he is constantly feeling exhausted and often has to throw up, and he has started losing his hair, which has made him very self conscious so he doesnt want me to see him like that and feel sorry for him. I really want to be there for him and show him support but he is begging me not to come. Should I respect his feelings and not get on the plane? Or should I go against him and show up anyways even tho he has literally BEGGED me not to come yet? Another concern is that he lives with his family and I'm afraid that if I were to show up anyways, I would be "in the way".
it depends on how long ya'll have been together. If this is really love then go....that will show him that no matter what you love him and will be there for him whatever he is going through. and his family will probably understand. you will do anything to be with him during this hard time.
BABIE_CAKES!!!
my aunt had breast cnacer.. and had HORRIBLE chemo.. and was super sick.. i think you should call him.. tell him your concerned, and it doesnt matter what he looks like.. loosing hair etc... and that you love him.. and you just want to go and give him a hug... even if you are there for an hour and leave its fine.. but id say.. right now respect his wishes.. people w. cancer CAN BE emotion.. not syaing he will be.. but its tough on his body! soo.. dont take pity on him.. dont tell him how scare dyou are for him.. just tell him you miss him TONS!and you just want a hug.. if he stills says no.. dont push it.... if he REALLY doesnt want you to come.. then dont.. but just tell him how much you love him.. and you need a hug.. and you just want to be w. him.. but dont make it look like your pitying him.. cuz he doesnt want that...
respect his wishes.. but yet be there for him.. just keep reinforcing him that you DONT CARE if he gets sick while your there (even though you might) that you DONT CARE that he doesnt have hair.. that you DONT CARE if he needs to take a np while you are there.. if he does.. stay w. his fam. and talk.. or go to the mall..
but if you need to show him you care.. send him a little bear and say that when you see him.. think of me.. cuz i cant be here.. the bear is here in my place.. again.. dont make it look like a pity gift.. make it look like u want to be there. but since you cant.. the bear is..
GOOD LUCK! i kind of repeated myslef.. but i tried soo hard for you! and i REALLY hope this works out!
GOOD LUCK!!!!
if you need to talk. im here. just email me!
good luck!
hugss
<3 amanda
thsp
Do what he asks and ask him to tell you when it will be okay for you to visit him. Cancer patients lose so much control over most things in their lives, let him have control of this. It helps them know they can still make decisions and that their opinion matters. By all means, keep in close contact, send him stuff, call his mom, things like that. Let this be all about him and his wishes.
Lauren D
well. i think you should stay away just for a little while. send him packages of pictures or flowers. maybe send him a movie or something that he reallly enjoys and could cheer him up. i would maybe talk to his family about hwne the right time would be too. good luck!
xxxxTxxx
i think he does have a right to choose whether you come, but i understand your longing to be there fully. Maybe you could wait a while to see how he gets on and then see how you both feel. maybe talk to his parents to see what they think about the situation
kepp remimding him that you love him and try to comfort him as much as you can, hope things work out
morticia1993
my 2 cents worth... honor his request to not go.
He is not alone, he has his family around him to care for his physical needs. He needs you where you are to care for his some of his spiritual needs. It sounds like it will stress him out more to have you there, stress is something he doesn't have the luxury to have during chemo. May I suggest to research a support group for yourself for cancer support ppl, it can be most helpful and put him in your prayers.
Angela M
Do what he asks. Call his family and ask them to keep you updated on his condition, and if it worsens then get on that plane.
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