Any overwhelming task, including getting and staying sober, is a lot less intimidating when broken down into steps. Here's how to get the most out of a twelve step program, and what to do if you are not immediately successful in achieving sobriety. The path to a healthy, fulfilling, and addiction-free life begins with the simplest of steps. The first and often most difficult step is to admit to yourself that you are absolutely powerless to stop drinking or drugging once you have begun. Pride is your enemy here. To have any chance at success you must surrender yourself completely to the notion that you have no control of your drug or alcohol intake once you have begun.


Steps

1. Look on the web for a relevant 12-step program - Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, etc. The web site should point you to lists of meetings in your area. In order to stay "clean" from one mood-altering substance, you should abstain from all chemical use, one day at a time.
2. Learn that very few drug addicts do not also drink alcohol. Those addicts who indulge in drinking alcohol may find it difficult to stay away from hard drugs, for alcohol is a gateway drug for many. Fortunately, "the only requirement for membership in AA is the desire to stop drinking" (from "Alcoholics Anonymous," the Big Book of AA). There will always be some AA groups that reject people with other problems in addition to drinking. Just keep looking, there will be groups that welcome you.
3. Attend a variety of meetings, and plan to stay sober (free from all mood-altering substances) between meetings. Some meetings will meet your needs better than others. Take what you need and leave the rest behind.
4. Get a sponsor--a person of your gender with significant clean time. Talk to him or her every day and follow the advice you are given. When you have the urge to drink or use drugs, call your sponsor instead.
5. Work the 12 steps with your sponsor. The steps are virtually the same in all the programs and are a recipe for happy living.In addition to attending meetings, your sponsor may ask you to read program literature, pray or meditate.
6. Identify a "home group"--a particular meeting where you feel especially comfortable, that you attend without fail. Members of this group will want to check up on you if you are unexpectedly absent.
7. Remember that addiction is a very socially debilitating ailment. You will most likely find yourself feeling very uncomfortable in social situations during early sobriety. This is quite normal and also quite temporary. An enormous part of the healing process is regaining the ability to create, maintain and enhance healthy relationships. This will be daunting at first, but becomes less so with each healthy relationship you form and foster.

Tips

• If you are doing all of the above, and are still unable to stay sober, consider outpatient treatment and counseling, or inpatient treatment. Most of these will also be 12-step-based, and provide additional kinds of support.
• If you are not immediately successful, keep trying. You can find a way to make this work for you.
• Almost anywhere in the country, you can find support by calling the number listed in the phone book under "Alcoholics Anonymous," although in smaller towns you may have to leave a message for someone to call you.
• There are also online "meetings."
• Although there is "God language" in the 12-step literature, you do not have to be religious to recover. Your sponsor can help you to identify a Higher Power of your understanding.
• Members of 12-step programs will often give you a ride if you need one.
• It's okay to change sponsors if you need a different approach, but don't do it lightly.
• If standard inpatient treatment is not sufficient, you may need "long-term" treatment--residence in transitional housing, or several months to a year or more of inpatient treatment in a residential setting.
• Support for family members is available through counseling and/or Al-Anon and Nar-Anon Family Groups.
• Your primary physician and even many psychiatrists may not know a lot about addiction. There are MDs who are board-certified in addiction medicine ("addictionists" or "addictionologists"). Addiction physicians say that 10-15% of us are born with a genetic predisposition to be addicts, and that alcoholism is no different from any other addiction. A scientific article on the genetics of addiction is referenced in the discussion page (see below).
• You will probably need to get rid of all the mood-altering substances in your home.
• Though you may want to go out and buy alcohol or other substances, put a "no relapse" reminder note in your wallet so you will see it whenever you dig in there to get money.
• Recovering alcoholic strangers all over the world can be incredibly helpful to anyone who is struggling to stay sober. Wherever you are, you can probably find a meeting.
• Remember, you are in control.
• Take it one second, one minute, one hour, one day at a time. "Easy does it."

Warnings

• Addiction is life-threatening. The alternatives to sobriety are jails, institutions and death.
• You may require medical attention for safe detoxification from a physical addiction. Alcohol withdrawal may cause seizures, hallucinations, or both (i.e., delirium-tremens), and can be fatal. Seek medical help, consult your physician and/or a trusted and knowledgeable program member.
• While you are recovering from an addiction, beware of substitute addictions that may enter your life--shopping, food, sex, etc. There are 12-step programs for these problems as well.
• Having an affair with someone in your support group is so common that it's called "thirteenth stepping." Don't do it. It's not good for your recovery. People in early recovery are emotionally vulnerable. If your intent is to get sober *and* maintain your marriage, make that clear to the group, and stick to your goal.
• AA has many critics. It is by no means the only way to get and stay sober and another program may work better for you. Some people who drink alcoholically are able to "just stop." If one method isn't working for you, find the courage to try another program or method. Treatments that combine medication and talk therapy (e.g. taking antidepressants and going to group or individual meetings) address both the physical and psychological aspects of addiction, and seem to have good success rates.
• Alcohol is a depressant. Many people who are diagnosed as being clinically depressed or bipolar are "cured" of these disorders when they get sober. Others have lifelong depressive diseases that will stay with them. Give yourself a long period of clean time before trying to go off psychiatric medications, and then only do so under the direction of your doctor.
• AA and other twelve step programs often attempt to distance you from your friends. They attempt to convince you that this is necessary; sometimes they are correct, other times these policies needlessly destroy healthy relationships. We are usually told "stay away from wet places and wet faces". This may at times mean that we have to distance ourselves from our immediate family members if they are actively using.
• AA and NA are NOT dating services. True, there have been some beautiful relationships grow out of the rooms but ask an old-timer about the '13th Step'. A true member only practices the first 12.