chillipope
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I fell through the back window of the caravan I was pushing while pished - I cut the end off my thumb (stitched back on) and ended up with shards of glass sticking out of my face, chest and arms.
I stopped laughing when the hospital told me they couldn't do anything until I sobered up. |
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Dr Frank
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The funniest self inflicted problems I ever saw I can't write about on this family forum (there are those I can't mention in polite society as they would make your hair curl!)
But I do remember a fisherman coming in to casualty with a huge fly hook stuck in the centre of his forehead, once us caring casualty staff had stopped laughing WITH the patient, who did see the funny side of it, it took only a minute to remove. |
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Flup
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I stabbed myself in the finger while trying to get the cover off a DIN plug. Lost all feeling up the side of it. What an idiot :-) |
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FC
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I also got 5 stitches - in my leg. I was walking along with 2 glass milk bottles banging them together infront of me, then bagging them behind me. Unsurprisingly they smashed - on a back swing - and sliced the back of my leg open. It was so clean I didn't even feel it, it was only when my Dad saw it & went white I realised I was damaged. |
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EsorEnyaj
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I used to ride Ambulance and I saw quite a few rather unintelligent self inflicted injuries, here are my two favorite:
1. A 30ish y/o man was cooking naked for his wife and while chopping vegetables managed to accidently chop his willy off. The whole ride to the hospital he kept asking if it was going to be reattachable. *ouch* (btw, they did reattach it)
2. Two teenagers were riding 4 wheelers in their backyard and went off jumps facing each other at the same time. Collided in mid air and resulted in several broken bones, including one of them with their forearm between the wrist and elbow at nearly 90 degrees. (Thankfully they both had helmets on at least.) |
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ordiofile
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Scalded my face chest and hands as a teenager when I fell carrying a kettle and pan upstairs to pour into the bathroom sink and sauna my face. Nasty. And really embarrassing to explain to my parents afterwards. My attempts at a perfect complexion left me with a face full of blisters and fingers like balloons. |
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donaldblake2007
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Mine is actually nothing compared to any of these, but when I was 6 or 7 I was playing with this thing in gym class called a scooter. Something small and flat and you rolled around on 4 wheels. Anyway, there's a part in our gym where the tiling stops and a big bump seperates the tiling from the hardwood flooring of the gym. I thought I saw someone running then jumping on their scooter and just going right over the bump, so I thought I'd give it a shot. Turns out, they actually didn't, and I went face first into the floor, chipping my two front teeth. My top two teeth looked like they had an arch missing in them for like 2 months, and I had a hard time eating my Halloween candy that year. Now my teeth look absolutely normal. |
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kezz_wales
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Being a big kid on a bouncy castle. Went flying off it and fractured my elbow. |
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floppity
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Wow, you were a strange kid! I once had a tantrum and slammed the door as hard as I could with my finger sitting by the hinge, so I had to go to the hospital with a broken pinkie and three stiches! I don't have a scar there or anything though.
I was about five or six by the way, this wasn't a recent thing! |
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wattie
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Well it's not me but my mum once broke her big toe by jumping up off the couch and it bent forward and she stood on it and broke it! She was going to answer the door and it was my aunt at the door and to this day she still blames my aunt for her breaking her big toe cos she rang the doorbell!! How stupid is that? |
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susieblake2002
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A friend of mine broke his nose tying his shoelaces. He pulled the lace really tight and it snapped and his hand flew up, and he smacked himself in the face.
It's funny now, but at the time no-one dared laugh at him... |
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Mandy
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I was putting toothpaste on my toothbrush, my toothbrush slipped and the toothpaste which was on the toothbrush flew in my left eye......it was funny but it burns like hell ! |
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freakyfairy
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Last week I grabbed a plank of wood from beside my house and put it down on the grass next to my car! I had parked too close to it the night before and had almost slipped over getting out so I thought it would stop be landing on my behind in my work suit!
I didn't see the 2 inch nail sticking up out of the wood and stepped, full weight, on it!
2 Stitches and a tetanus jab required!!
Ive also tried running vertically up a 6 foot wall after a night out with the girls and gave my self concussion when i wasn't successful and landed on the metal barrier at the bottom! |
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audrey_o
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Bored...waiting for the toaster to pop...for some unknown reason I decided i'd stick the knife into the toaster as the bread looked as though it was sticking to the mesh.......................................
Suddenly I found myself at the other side of the kitchen.
No idea how that happened................yeah right! |
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FBiL
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When I was 15 I was skipping school (pretended to be ill) at lunchtime i decided to cook some beefburgers. The beefburgers were frozen together and I used a carving knife point first to try and separate them.
they separated suddenly and I ended up stabbing myself in through the hand. I lost a lot of blood and almost lost consciousness. |
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M1
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I broke my ankle when i jumped of a fork lift truck when it was still moving and it ran me over. |
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kxkx
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I tried flying off the top of my bunk bed holding a carrier bag, fell flat on my face and broke my nose, i was only about 6, never tried it again. |
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elodie duck
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I dropped a 40lb can of honey on my big toe and broke it. |
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Munki nutz
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I was bouncing on my bed when i was young and fell off. I broke my nose.
I was swinging a broom around my head and it hit me in the face, had a big lump above my eye. |
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emt_me911
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Let's see...I was working at Six Flags EMS summer before last. I slipped and fell down a flight of stairs, falling 15 feet and landing on my head, neck and shoulders. Ouch. I ended up with a concussion and cervical neck strain. It happened in front of about 100 people...security was brought in for crowd control while I was being packaged for transport to the hospital. I ended up looking up from the spine board instead of down at it. I knocked myself senseless. It's always embarassing when the EMT gets hurt. I vaguely remember instructing those trying to help me in what to do...how to protect my neck and back and such. I remember being carried out on a spine board in c-spine immobilization and being taken to the hospital. Needless to say, I got teased when I went back to work a week later. |
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Angry Birdy
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My older brother once thought it was funny to shut me in the back garden when I was about 13 (25 years ago) and in a fit of temper I hammered on the corner of the glass pane in the back door with my fists and my right hand went through. I had a piece of glass embedded for years, and I have two scars that are fading all the time.
Edit: And when I was eight I fell off a swing and broke my right arm.
Another edit: I slipped on an icy step several years ago and flattened a disc in my spine which is still prolapsed. |
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Deltic21
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A few years ago I was using a stanley blade to shave some white metal castings in a model kit. One particular piece had a burr on the side that wouldn't come off however I tried to cut it. I was losing my temper with it and eventually got so annoyed I put it down on the top of my thigh and pushed the blade hard against the offending burr...
...with the somewhat predictable effect that the burr wouldn't cut and the blade slid clean off it and embedded itself in the top of my leg! Had to go to hospital where blade was removed and four stitches put in.
The REALLY daft thing was that I was in the TA at the time and considered myself a hard-nut (despite making model railway kits), so when the nurse asked if I wanted an anaesthetic I said no...!
Bugger me, I quickly came to regret THAT decision!!!!
The whole event is the kind of obvious warning we give 5 year olds, but I was about 28 at the time! |
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Princess
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I sat on my hair straighteners. Enough said. |
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Mr Magoo
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i once burnt my finger pointing to an iron. i also burnt my arm on a fridge, the back gets really hot. |
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yoyo head
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I ride horses, and this is preatty stupid, I ended up braking my tail bone and getting a small cuncusion. When I tacked my horse up, the bit was twisted in the mares mouth. I was scared becuase I had never riden the horse before, and ontop of it all, she was green broke. So we were walking around the ring, so the rains were loose. She spooked when a plastic bag blew across the ring. I slightly pulled the rains, but it was enough the make her buck. I stayed on for the first buck, barely, then fell when she came down from a rear, then she bucked agian, hitting my head. Good thing I had a helmate on, but I still came down hard, an trust, I didn't luagh. |
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Ernie
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When I was nine. I was running with a screwdriver in my hand and I slipped and stuck it into my temple. The blood was amazing. My mom thought I would die. Turns out is wasn't all that life threatening... but perhaps explains a little bit about why I'm the way that I am. |
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lostinyonkers
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I was trying to unjam a stapler and i pushed to hard and stapled my thumbs, yeah both of them. |
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Buzzard
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Down in the cellar by the tool box with my big brother, I picked out a rusty stanley knife to have a look at it. He said 'Be careful, it's sharp and you could cut yourself'.
I said, 'Don't be silly, it's rusty, it can't be sharp,' and pressed my thumb to the blade as hard as I could to prove my point.
Big cut, blood wells up. 1-2-3, Waaaaaaah! Muuuuum! I was about five, I think... no scars or anything though... |
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Animal
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Done my flys up on my ding dong |
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gwoods1210
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sneezed while using my nail gun and nailed my foot to a floor board alone in a customers house just slightly to far away from my phone to call anyone so i sat there for 3 hours til the lady who owned the house got back, the first thing she did was laugh at me at the time i really didn't find it funny but looking back on it now it seems to stupid to be true |
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eflatsharp
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The inevitable corned beef tin injury.
I shall say no more ! ! ! |
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