I was raped for 5 years by my brother, how can I forget it?

I was raped from the time I was 9 and it lasted for 5 years. My own blood brother did it. How can I get over this and live a normal life?...


I was raped from the time I was 9 and it lasted for 5 years. My own blood brother did it. How can I get over this and live a normal life?



chill'n
you will never be able to forget about it and should not ever forget about it. What you can do is learn how to deal with it in the best way possible for you. You need to shop around for a good therapist (they are hard to find) and they can help you by giving you the tools to help yourself get through the most tragic thing ever. E-mail me if you want and i can help you further.


tinkerbell
RYAN PLEASE EMAIL ME, I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING, BUT I DON'T WANT TO SAY IT ON HERE.


Charles H
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My wife went through this, too, and still has setbacks from her experiences. Her older brother was a step-brother. She says you can't ever really get over it, that you just have to come to terms with what happened and learn to live with it. The toughest parts are making yourself realize that it wasn't your fault and having a relationship with a man afterward. Some women never can. My wife is great, but it really hindered the romance for a while because of her memories.

Bless you, and good luck.


Ajeesh Kumar
You are not alone. It happens every where. Consult a clinical psychologist. Antidepressants like Zoloft and Paxil are the pharmacological options.


wickedkitten
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Your not going to forget it.
This is trauma.
Also tragic.
You probably need to speak to an pyschologist and get on some anti-depressants.

Tragic this happened to you. You have a new life in front of you to make of it as you will.
You can can dwell on the unfairness of it all and the emotional scars or you can try to move FORWARD and make everyday a triumph of a new step, a new day. Life is truly truly too short to harbor all of this.
I wish you the best and a beautiful world today, tomorrow from here out.


CharKaye
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What a horrible thing to happen to a child. I do hope that you have pressed charges.


Flory M
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You cant just forget it.. Better to inform your parents..Open up and let them know..It will make u feel better..Keeping something in your heart will be a big burden for you..

Sadly, what's inside u will show to your behavior..

Ask courage from GOD. Always pray..and Discuss this to your whole family.


Faerie
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That must be hard. My mom was abused by her cousin back in the 70s and it still bothers her but she just tries to ignore it.


marnie
First of all I want to tell you how sorry I am for all of the pain you have been experiencing. I also want you to know that it wasn't your fault and that you did nothing wrong to deserve such abusive behavior. I pray that that brother is no longer in your life or has any contact with you. I am a RN who is a Psychiatric Nurse Educator and want you to know that help is available for you and that you need professional help to get over this and to be able to experience a normal sexual relationship. You do not say whether you told your parents about this sexual abuse and what their response was. This is an aspect of your abuse that also needs to be dealt with because it will affect all future contact you have with them. I do not know your present age and if you are still a minor or not. At any rate I would suggest that you first turn to your family physician and ask for a referal for counseling. If finances are a problem you might start with Call Rape for counseling help or there are also Mental Health Services that have a sliding scale for charges. Also a Pastor at your church might be able to give you some support. Unfortunately there is no easy answer to help with the pain but the important thing is to always remember that you are a unique and loved child of God and God will provide you with people along your path of life that will guide you, support you and love you. Don't try to change things all on your own but do reach out to others to help you. I wish I could give you a big hug and let you know that what happened to you was totally unfair. I also want to congratulate you for taking this giant step of reaching out to others on this web site and sharing with them your deepest pain of being raped for five years by your own brother. I acknowledge your personal courage in reaching out in your pain and believe that your determination and loving spirit will lead you to the peace in your life that you so deserve. May God bless you and heal you of all your emotional pain.


Me
U have to talk to someone anyone who can just listen...all u want them to do is listen and u do all the talking. Good Luck :)


knifethrough
Go to therapy and talk about it so that you can face what happen to you and so you can be able to live with it. You will never forget it but you can go on with your life and have a healthy relationship with a man but it does take time. You are not alone. I know what you are going through.


Tias
This is terrible. Talking about it helps, don't hold your emotions in. You need to start the healing process. I suggest you see a a psychiatrist or psychologist who specializes in sexual assault to help you. Or try talking to an adult who you trust so you can move forward. Always remember this was not your fault, and your brother has to deal with this guilt trip for the rest of his life. You must make the best of every day; be strong and don't let any man make you do things you don't want to; you can do it. Best of luck to you.


7yrs2go
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I don't think anyone can get over it, just deal with it. You really should get counseling. Find someone who you trust. They're not all good.


cougarbrooke08
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I am so sorry for whats happened to you and I hope you know that you will go in life. The only real advice I can say is that maybe you shouldn't try and forget what happened to you. I know that might sound pointless but it's not. Use your past as a way to grow and become stronger. Help others by sharing your story with people who have had your same experiences. I to know what it is like to feel rock bottom. I am just now starting to get my life back. When I was suffering I though that no one has a worse life than me, but now i see that even though some things in our lives might seem bad, there are others who have felt the same and your not alone. I don't know your whole story but I'm sure you could find a support group somewhere. or even a counselor. IF those don't help than get support from someone who is close to you. I hope that I could be of help and just remember that the sun will rise. It is going to take time to feel better, but eventually that time will come.
-Lots of love, and best wishes!!


Dushyanthan D
You should get professional help if you have not spoken to anyone. Its not an easy thing to get over and requires alot of help and friends.


whrldpz
You will need a support system to get you through this. See a counselor, social worker or psychologist for help. If there is a victim assistance center in the city then give them a call. This is a good place to start. Even a visit to planned parenthood to talk to a lady there would give you some relief. Best of luck to you!


Ozz
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You may not forget it. But you can get on with living a normal life. Put the past behind you. I say this as a Buddhist. Don't dwell on the past, as horrible as it was. Easy for me to say, eh?

I'm going to email you a web site which will hopefully help you. It's magical, and I'll tell you about it in the email.

Take Care :)


mrcricket1932
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You won't ever forget it but you can do something to prevent it from destroying your life. When you can put it on the back burner and leave it there untouched, you will find much relief.. but, there are triggers embedded within the mind which allow the emotional turmoil to bubble up to the surface.. the urgent need is to get rid of those triggers. They are not eliminated by conscious efforts.. has to be a bit deeper than that.


sharkgirl
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It's something you will never forget, but you need to help yourself. This is a crime-you need to take legal action against him. Disregard the fact that he is your brother...get him stopped before he hurts someone else. You also need to talk to a professional-not neccessarily a psychiatrist, but there are support groups for people who have all suffered the same thing. Take a stand!! He's screwed your life, but you can make it, and make him suffer too


Brainiac
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I'm very sorry that this happened to you. This is a traumatic event and you will probably never forget it. You may be able to learn how to cope with it. Get some professional help - I am not an expert but I wish you the best.


ZaNy_kiDd
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get help. you need to talk to someone that can help you. you need to heal and you wont until you get it all out.


sizzlingl
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Have you ever told anyone? Even though it has been 5 years I suggest you go to rape crisis center. They will help you sort this out and give you stable advice.


happydawg
I am sorry for what happened to you.
I know you only from what you have written here, so I am just hoping you have recieved some counseling or spoken with someone you trust and can confide in.
I hope you find peace and solace in your higher power whether it be in your church or school activity, or a trusted friend. or family member.
My prayers for peace inside of your heart are with you.
Peace be with you always in the name of Jesus.


dantheman_028
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You won't ever forget it, but maybe someday you'll be able to forgive him and move on with life. Not because he deserves it, but because when you hold on to things inside like that, it eats away at you. Your parents need to be a part of the healing process.


sparklyricanbelle
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I agree. The best thing to do is to talk to someone, perhaps not necessarily a counselor, but someone that has gone through a similar experience so they can help you cope. A support group can also be very useful. Remember this was not your fault and you did not deserve this. Good luck


kwb1965
Seek counseling, you are NOT supposed to forget this, it was a CRIME


holyhiphopper
Ryan,
This is a very serious issue, and you haven't said how old you are. I assume you're not still being abused. I am very sorry for what you have gone through, and would suggest you seek counseling. There are very good counselors that can help you to deal with the hurt and issues that will obviously affect your life from what has happened to you. If you are in school, you can get help through the counseling center there, or through a local church. Most places such as these don't charge a fee, and are more than willing to help. If you don't have access to any place like this, you can even look in your local phone book for places such as abuse hot-lines and such where they can lead you in the right direction for help. I think the hardest step is probably stepping out and admitting you need help. Once you've started counseling, I think you'll realize you've got a long journey, but it's totally worth working through. God be with you and bless you!


almintaka
You need professional help from two sources:

1. A psychiatrist
2. A lawyer

Don't waste any more time on a computer forum like this one. You have a serious problem and this is definitely not the place to get serious answers from qualified professionals.

Good grief. Get out of here and get medical and legal help.


Paul
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Believe me, I know what youre going through b/c my family suffered a similar situation but it involved about 6 girls in my family and was left unsaid for years. First of all, this is something you will never forget, and something you will have to deal with for the rest of your life. The good news is that you have the choice as to how this will affect you. Either you can let it eat at you, depress you, give you trust issues, or whatever, or you can get some help with the situation which from experience I highly highly highly recommed!!! I dont know the situation but if you feel its necessary, you should confront him, put him in jail, etc, basically do what you need to do to make the situation have some sort of an ending or closure. If you dont, you might struggle with knowing you could have done something now, but failed to. Good luck and God Bless!


flamewithblackhair
I don't have a right answer for you, but I can give you my opinion. First off, forgetting something as life changing as this won't fix the problem, nor can it make it go away. Have you considered talking to a pyschologist or just a freind who can listen. Have you sat down with your brother and discussed how you feel about this? I know that may seem extremely complicated, but it helps. You might find it hard to be in a relationship, but just be aware that all men are not like your brother. Feel free to message me sometime if you like. I'll be more than happy to talk to you if you're comfortable talking to a pychologist. Sometimes its better just to talk to a complete stranger about things such as this


gigglebox27
unfourtantly my dear you can't. no matter how hard you try you will never forget it. when i was in college in 98 i was rapped by five guys. sure they went to jail for a short period of time, but they took somehing from me that i was never able to get back. my advise is to seek help. having a professional to talk to will not only help you with the process of trying to move on but it will also give you the confiedece so you can start to live a normal life.