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 Angry all the time?
Durning these past five months every little thing is making me angry. Even such as my mom asking me a simple question just sets something off inside me. I was never like this untill my bf broke up ...

 Im feeling so down lately, and that I am not a good mom?
I am on antidepressants for my depression and it is working or atleast I thought it was. But for this past week, i just have been feeling like crap. I feel that my son doesnt love me and resents me ...

 Committing Suicide - What do you think?
Do you think that it's right that people can be committed, against their will, if they want to committ suicide? (I don't want religious answers either, we all know religion doesn't ...

 I want to hide away from the world...?
I understand that this is not so much a question as it is a simple need for some advice. If you don't want to read this, please skip on by.
For the last little while, I feel myself running ...

 I'm stuck..Physically stuck.?
Yesterday I caught my eye lashes in my zip, it's difficult to blink, I was unable to attend college today as a result, and my eyes are getting really heavy and watering profusely. I have ...

 Who will believe me?
I'm sixty two years old and I have been married forthirty five of those years. For the last twenty one years I have been the loneliest man I know.
When the life in my marriage died she ...

 I'm Crazy .What should i do?

 What do you do to help get through the rough times?
When you are having a bad day or something bad has happened to you, what do you do to get through the rough times? How do you lift your mood?
Additional Details
Wow, I certainly wasn'...

 What do you do when people hate you?
what do you do if you work in a place where everyone has decided to give you the silent treatment and you can tell they don't like you? but you don't want to quit the job, or move to a ...

 Are you on antidepressants?
Do they make you worse when you come off them?
What other affects do they have on you?
Do you gain weight?
How long can you be on a coure of antidepressants?
What happens if you ...

 Do you know someone bipolar. what is the most manic thing they have done?

 Im a cutter and trying to stop?
Ive been going trew any things in my short life.My brother in law and my cuzen died around the same time,my parents are disowning me so i started cutting since i was 13 but it gotten worst to the ...

 Am I bulimic?
Sometimes when I eat a lot I make myself throw up. I just feel so full and sick. I eat a lot today and want to get rid of it. I don't want to gain a lot of weight from it....

 Really angry.?
About an hour ago I was sitting in my room talking to my mate online and suddenly I got really angry for no reason. My fists were suddenly clenched and I started hitting the wall and throwing things. ...

 I think I'm insane?
At 14 I'm thinking about my career, my future, my retirement. Kids at my age don't even give a damn about such things. I feel as though I'm living in an age too far for me and I can...

 How do you tell a mentally unstable man that you're happier without him?
I posted this in "Relationships, but I thought it applies here too:

I've been with this man for 7 years. Since I was 16. He's very "mentally unstable" He choked me ...

 How can I STOP worrying?

 I really need advice?
On Monday I tried to kill myself with an overdose of tylenol/ibuprofen/other otc drugs. My mom found me and called 911 and i had to drink charcoal a couple times and go on the gurney and get in the ...

 I talk in my sleep, and if people ask me yes or no questions i answer, will I always tell the trueth?
When i sleep,
And people ask me questions,
I shake my head or answer by vague yes or no
Any basic questions are answered,
will it always b the right answer? or what i would say ...

 Suicide... someone please talk me out of it?
some one please help me... my life is horrible... yet another one of my friends hates me now... He out of no where hates me beyond all reason... I thought he was one of my two real friends but he ...

Would you trust an ex heroin addict?
i've recently met a man who has been a heroin addict for 16years, he says he's clean now but only for a month or so, he also has problems with alcohol, can i trust him, can he change
Additional Details
i'm only 19 and quite confused!

once a junkie always a junkie n he has only be clean 4 a month i wouldnt trust him with all my life sorry but u can do betta

Ben Jeepin
He cannot change.

yes he can change, but i would not start anything with him yet, give him time to prove himself and to find himself x kitti x

Yeah, but be careful. I know a few people that have had issues very similar to this and while it did take them some time, they did work things out in the end.

run like hell u can never change an addict theres always a chance thet will go back on the gear but they will never admit it just lie which come easy to every addict or exaddict once a junkie always a junkie

"U" is for Uranium
I wouldn't trust him with your heroin or booze stash. If you want to start working on building his trust, start small and gradually increase. Have to go back to taking baby-steps before he can walk on his own again.

sure, just give him the keys to your home and ride, he'll do just fine.

Becky H
It is hard not to be confused when you 'fall' for someone isn't it. Hard to take all the advise you would usually give others. I think the main thing to remember is that people with addictions don't ever 'recover' they will never become their 'old' selves. This does not mean that they will always take drugs, but their lives will never be the same, they will always be fighting the temptation. Of course people can change, and of course people need to have second chances. Good on him for getting this far, a month is a very long time for a guy like him, and I am sure it feels like a lifetime to him, hense why he seems ready to move on. However he needs o concentrate on himself for a while yet, he should spend at least quater of the time he was 'addicted' getting better. I sincerely hope he is getting the help he deserves, but right now, he needs friends and proffesional help, not relationships. Think of it this way...you vow to give up chocolate and you are succeeding, a month has gone by and you are feeling great, then you have an arguement...what do you do...you pull the choccie out...why? It makes you feel a million times better. Think how it would be for him.

your only 19, you dont need this head mess, forget him

Anybody can change, but one month isn't very long. I wouldn't trust him just yet. If he said he'd been clean 2 years, then he might make it. Heroin is one of the most addictive things out there. And the alcohol problem doesn't make it any easier.

If you are considering this man for your life partner, I'd look elsewhere.

personally i wouldnt go anywhere near him. sounds like trouble 2 me!! what happens if he slips back into his old ways and drags u down with him!!! ive heard that story far too many times!!! steer clear.

If he asks you to trust him, don't.

i've had friends i could trust even while they were active junkies, but that didn't mean anyone else could.

If he doesn't ask, maybe...

take it very slow, if he is still using alcohol then there is still that crutch.
anyone can change but they have to want to and there is nothing anyone else can do about that. only he can.
he may not be using heroin anymore but he's still not dealt with whatever his problems are since the alcohol is still being abused.
is he doing anything to change his lifestyle or is he just claiming to have stopped using the heroin. is he going to a 12 step program or holding down a job?
these are the things i would ask myself to decide whether i could trust him or not. addiction is a disease and 1 month isn't very long to change almost half a lifetime of heroin addiction. be cautious.

Julie L
Sorry to say that everyone i've ever come in contact with and we get on a conversation about things like this they always seem to go back to thier old ways. Best advice is to keep your guard up and try to help this person stay clean. Only bad thing is as soon as something bad happens their right back at it again so like I said always be there for him as much as possible without letting your guard down. I hope everything works out for you.

dave s
Youre 19 and hes been a heroin addict for almost as long as youve been alive?

Jesus Christ girl. Can you not see the warning signs flashing around you????? They are there for a reason.

And clean for a MONTH??? After 16 years???

Get away. Get away now. How bad can your life be if you cant find a normal bloke to be with.

Geez, some people ..............

You're young and you're admittedly confused. You say he HAS problems with alcohol, meaning he is not over those problems yet. Don't waste your time with this guy.

Can he change? Yes. But you're better off finding a guy who hasn't ravaged his body for nearly 2 decades.

HECK NO. STay away. Stay far away.

Don't answer anymore calls


If he's been an addict for 16years then he needs more than a month to know if he's really going to be sober, it easily takes 6 months to a year plus for people brains to start to change back to what non addicts brains are, While he might be totally commited , I'd be careful because relapses are a common part of recovery.

everyone deserves a 2nd chance,an if this guy is determined to stay clean an u can see something in him that you like then go for it!
maybe you should get info about helping him stay clean
be careful though, addicts are very good at lying an if u have any doubts,get rid coz its an easy road to go down!

No, no, no, please no it's just not long enough, everyone deserves a second chance but a month is just too short.

Cathy :)
end it now while it's still easy to - i'm spkin from experience - my best friend was in the same situation n didn't end it n now she's in a really bad relationship! n my x used to take heaps of drugs untill i met him (I was 19 at the time too!) - it didn't bother me cos he'd stopped n we were so happy for 4 1/2 years - lived together - woulda married him, but one day someone from his work offered him something n that was him right back into it - he left me within a week n was back takin them all - idiot! dunno if people can change but i'd say you're best not takin the risk - you'll end up hurt :( sorry - good luck xxxxx


Never expect someone to change. You need to be happy with the person with all of their problems. If you can't do this, don't waste your time.

Confused, stay away from this man. He has been a junkie for 16 years; one mone clean counts for nothing, especially if he is abusing alcohol. Have you heard the expression"clean and sober?" They go together.

Yes, a person can change, but not because you want him to or hope he will; he has to want to change, not for yoy, for himself.

Is he in NA (Narcotics Anonymous)? I doubt it, because they would tell him if he is drinking alcohol, he has simply switched one drug for another. And as long as he is drinking, it's one tiny, slippery step to using heroin again.

Are you a co-dependent personality? That means someone who hooks up with damaged, sick people with a need to "help" them get better. If you like to do that, get a career where you can help people who are sick and struggling to get better legitimately. But do not take a person like that into your personal life; it will be misery.

There are millions of people out there. Even if you feel lonely, wait until you meet a healthy man who works and has ambitions he can share with you. Once you are with that healthy man and have formed a life together, it's always possible that one of you could get sick; then the other will support and help, because none of us have any guarantees in life.

However, with this man, you do have a guarantee. He is a hard-core junkie now, when you just met him; he is also an alcoholic. You have the guarantee that you cannot trust him; you can never trust a junkie/alcoholic. You also have the guarantee that you will be hurt, big time. You may as well walk in front of a moving train, wondering if you can trust it will stop before it runs you down.

If you run into him 10 years from now and he tells you he has 10 years of going to meeting at NA & AA and has been clean and sober for those 10 years, then you can consider making him a friend.

Ask yourself this - what would you have done if you met him 2 months ago, when he was still using heroin as well as drinking. Would you want him in your life?

I have a suggestion for you in addition to staying away from him. Please go to 6 meetings of Al-Anon. Bring the question up there. The people will be kind to you and help you focus on your life, not try to fix someone else's broken one. Good luck.

DID YOU HEAR THAT.................... NO.

Keep away!

Drug abusers are notorious liars.

16 years of abuse with frequent turning over new leaves till a forest is made.........is very usual.

Once they are addicted, the heroin abusers' primary purpose in life becomes seeking and using drugs. The drugs literally change their brains and their behavior.

Unfortunately their charm as well as glib style of lying easily as a perfected art makes it easy for the unsuspecting person (who feels he has an opportunity to help someone in need)to become an easy prey.
If u do not wish to live to regret .......from being taken for a ride.....KEEP AWAY AND BREAK THE RELATIONSHIP IMMEDIATELY.

Big Ste
Are you being serious? Keep well away. Do you honestly think that all will be hunky dory with a recently `recovered` junky, who has problems with alcohol?
I think you better wake up girl.

16 years?! Hell no.

A month isn't so long...I'd be VERY careful if I were you. If he's dependant on alcohol too, I would suggest that he's not to be trusted until he's been off both for a substantial amount of time - and addicts of all kinds are notoriously good liars. Look after yourself first, it's a lot of responsibility to take on.

I used to work for the NHS in the treatment of Heroin users. They can be trusted, just like anyone else, but on when you have judged him on individual merit. How old is he? It sounds like their might be a large age gap between you?
Take it easy with him. Alcohol and heroin act in very similar ways (both are CNS Depressants), so he might be moving from a heroin problem to an alcohol problem, both of which have a huge economical, social and health impact. Everyone can change, it just depends on how much motivation they have to change! Good luck!

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