killmylandlord
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It's not your fault. |
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krispiemeow
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first of all, ITS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!! you didnt put a gun to his head and tell him to cut himself, ok? you are not responsible for his actions....ur just a friend trying to help...maybe u shouldve told someone instead but its done and overwith now. If he comes out ok, take action in helping him, tell someone you trust, a psychoologist, a teacher, anyone u trust. if he dies, remember that it can never be your fault, and u dont need to do anything crazy bc of it. if u need to , see a psychologist urself but dont try what he did, its not worth it |
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MayberryNR5
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this is an adult situation and not your fault...go to an adult and talk abou tthis.. |
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EverSunshine
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#1 it is not your fault. He is his own person and makes his own choices. If you did say or do something upsetting, it's still his choice to deal with his problems by cutting himself. #2 you should tell his parents or an adult that you respect and trust about his problem. He desperately needs emotional help. #3 you need to talk to someone about this relationship with him and your role in it. |
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WiserAngel
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How do you figure its your fault? Are you savior to the world? The boy is acting from his own experiences and obviously trying ineffectively to deal with stress. The best thing that can happen to him is if the hospital hooks him up with a good counselor and he can figure out why cutting himself makes him feel better. Many adolescents suffer from this problem. Just continue to be his friend, show him love and that's as far as your responsibility lies. Do NOT blame yourself. |
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poohu812many
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His brain chemistry contributed greatly to his behavior. You should be commended for trying to help him. Please don't beat yourself up about this. |
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messinapete
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Firstly, It is NOT your fault, people that self harm have problems that need addressing, You say that he has a history of this, It could be as simple a 'Attention seeking'
As he has done this before he will probably do it again, I suggest you talk to someone qualified in this area ASAP.
Do not feel guilty, You are not to blame, and dont do anything silly. |
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kenvicki1029
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no! it's not ur fault...he sounds selfish to me. he needs help w/ that |
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neona807
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It is not your fault. That is where you need to start. Lots of people have fights and arguements with their friends and they don't go out and cut themselves because of it.
I know you are feeling terribly guilty but its not your fault that your friend handles things the way he does.
My suggestion would be to call the hospital and ask to talk to the counselor that is talking to him. (There is always a counselor involved in suicide attempts). When you get the counselor on the phone, tell the counselor what you think triggered this episode so he can use that information to help your friend.
He might even be able to tell you where you can get someone to talk to you about your feelings about what happened and how to deal with your friend in the future.
Big hugs to you. I hope it all works out for the both of you. |
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Sassy
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His actions are not within your control. It sounds like you have tried to help him, but any one with a problem like he has needs professional help. I have a major person in my life who has problems, he is bipolar and no matter how much I try to help him sometimes he just goes off the deep end and I can do nothing to help him except be there when he's better. You may need some counseling yourself to get over the guilt you feel.
We can help people the best we can but we cannot take responsibility for their actions. Try to talk to someone in person, an understanding relative, call mental health services, or even a minister...don't let yourself get dragged down. God bless.. |
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ranabindiya
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no dont b crazy
the person cutting himself is crazy. all he needs is support and words of kindness.do this: go to the hospital, sit by him tell him how much he means to u and this act of his will only make ur bond weaker and NOT stronger. |
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xpridekillsx
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You're friend is stupid. Dont blame yourself. He's CRAVING for attention, and he wants someone to feel sorry for him. If you really want him to change, go up to his hospital room, and tell him that you're feeling wretched because of HIS actions. Be straight up with him and tell him that if he were to die "because of you" it would be hard to live YOUR life. Ask him if he really wants to leave you with that mindstate for the rest of your life, and see what he says as you "friend"....I've been there.... |
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dr_adn
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if the action of cutting has already took place the outcome depends upon his destiny. don't blame urself.whatever will happen to him will be good 4 u |
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rainchaser77
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Nope. You're wrong. There is NOTHING you did or CAN do to make him cut himself (or stop permanently). These are HIS actions and he is the one responsible for them.
I will also say that he needs professional help, and the only thing you may have done wrong is neglecting to tell someone who could actually get him the kind of help he needs. However, he is in a place now where he CAN get that help. |
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catsclaw
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It can't be your fault you've tried to stop him in the past. This is a problem he has you need to find out why he wants to do this to himself then see what you can do to help him. But don't blame yourself if you can't help him, you care enough to try that all you can do. |
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teambargain
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First of all it's not your fault, and second it's not your fault. You should really seek some therapy to help you through this time. |
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aumporpoise
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you did not cause him to "flip out". he flipped out all on his own. this is like my step dad blaming me for my moms death because i didn't call her enough. and after he said that to me i might have even believed it for a while. but even if i had called her every day, she was going to do what she was going to do, regardless. take it easy on your self, and maybe he will have frightened himself so bad this time that he realizes he needs to control himself. good luck. |
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deenerzz
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I never cut myself, but a very close friend of mine use to cut...a LOT.
It is not your fault that your friend is cutting, don't take on the responsibility, that is not fair to yourself. I knew my friend had deep problems and I hated it when he used to cut but I knew I was not the cause of it. This was over 22 years ago and we did not know as much as we do now about cutting and depression. I felt really alone and almost helpless but I knew it was not because of me, don't think your friend is cutting because of you.
You are putting too much pressure on yourself. You are not god or even his parents.
as long as your friend is getting help for his mental state that is all that can be done.
What do you think you did to "make" him do it?
He does have free will just as you have free will.
Owning his problems will hurt you as it is doing now. |
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booktender
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It is so NOT your fault!
Although I haven't dealt with cutting, I have had people around me in very serious mental health situations. It always hurts. It hurts even more and even longer if you hang onto the notion that you could have somehow prevented something from happening.
Your friend has a problem that you did not cause, you can not change, and you can not cure. Other things caused it, other things can cure it, and only your friend can change enough to manage the situation.
What you can do is encourage your friend to continue treatment and be straight up with him when his behavior is getting dangerous.
Here is more information about the disorder(s) that underlie cutting:
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/cutting.html |
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missbofo
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That sounds like a pretty serious situation. Try finding a psycologist who can talk it through with you. I wouldn't trust us on this one... |
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hairsnipper
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This is a difficult situation and my heart goes out to you. Please know that this is not your fault. He needs help dealing with his emotions. If it wouldn't have been you it would've happened eventually in some other situation. I was suicidal when I was younger and I know now how terrible people who loved me would've felt if I had succeeded. They too would feel the guilt of not being able to help me, but in the end no one could help me. I had to help save myself. I pray your friend will get well and finally get the help he needs. It took a life/death situation to make me understand how much I DIDN'T want to die. What doesn't destroy you makes you stronger. He wouldn't want you to feel guilty. |
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Who?Me?
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This is too much for you to bare, please talk to an adult about this.
There is ***no way** that you could have caused your friend to go to this extreme.
I repeat: please talk to an adult. |
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sand_man5856
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if he is crazy enough to kill his self then he deserves it |
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kadel
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Depression is not your fault. It was his decision. You stopped him before now it is up to the doctors and his family to put him on medication. Do not blame yourself. You did not cause him to flip out, he would have done it if he never met you |
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DramaGuy
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Its not your fault. Stop beating yourself up about it. |
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L louise
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Hey mate it's not your fault if he dies, he needs help and he is the right place to get that help. I know it may be hard but you have to keep strong for you and your friend. You could try writing about your fears in a book it may help. Please don't do anything crazy as this is not your fault. If you need to talk to anyone I am here if you want to chat |
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loviesteele
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First of all, you need not hold yorself responsible for someone else's actions, you can only be accountable for your own. This person is obviously mentally ill, and that is not your fault. They CHOSE to do what they did. It isn't like you Made them do it. Quit blaming youself, because they probably did it to make you feel guilty about it. That is their problem, and NOT yours. Hang in there and best wishes. |
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auntiegrav
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It's not your fault. He needed help before you came along. You need to think about your own future, and what you would like to be doing. Your friend isn't your problem, though you may have concern for him. What would you like to create in your life? Follow that thought. |
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dawnsdad
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I know this isn't going to help you but, It wasn't your fault. It's HIS fault. People like that try to put their problems on others. It's HIS fault. It's that simple and HE should be ashamed of himself for making you feel that way. You need to seek some professional counseling for yourself and your friend AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. |
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Dottie
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My son, who is age 16, didn't go as far as your friend did. He just recently got out of a special hospital here that deals with this type of situation. I honestly know how you feel, but mine goes deeper because it was my son. His depression started when he lost his best friend to suicide, and I've been helping him try to cope with this, it happened in March. Then, the next thing I knew, we went for a regular checkup at the doctor's office. And then I heard him say he tried to cut his hand off when he was at his dad's house, but a neighbor stopped him. That's when the doctor put him in the hospital. Now, he is on medication to deal with his depression. We both get counseling together with a therapist and separately we see different psychiatrists to help us both cope with everything. You don't say exactly how you caused him to flip out and get depressed again. But, I have learned that I wasn't the blame for my sons actions. I felt that it was my fault, that I had said the wrong thing to make him upset. He was depressed from not only his best friend committing suicide, he was getting pressure to do things from friends his age, alot of things was building up inside his mind that he couldn't cope with the world around him. Your friend may have already had problems built up inside that whatever you said may have just triggered past emotions. Not what you had said in that moment of time. You mentioned that everyone cuts ourselves, I'm sure that you meant that when we peel potatoes or apples, that sometimes we may cut our finger by accident. We don't purposely do it. The best advice I can give you is to stand by your friend because he needs all the support you can give him. I'm sure the doctors will give him medication to help his depression. It may take time for the meds to work, but you seem to like your friend very much. Even if you can go to a support group, which several places have free support groups to help cope with your friends depression and it may help you understand that it isn't your fault. Good Luck and if you need to talk to someone, you can get to my email by clicking my name. The email address is hidden. |
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