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Babyshambles
Can someone explain to me why a person who is mean to/very critical of others is actually an insecure person?
[I'm confused about how someone who seems very secure/agressive can be seen as insecure (psychologically speaking)]
                     




Nora
Rating
By criticising others, that person gets to shift away focus from his/her own weaknesses.


Jennifer T
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This person feel that if they criticize others this will make them feel better, but in the end the person is insecure. They try to boost themselves up at the expense of someone else.


coolysteph
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well i think thats because they have really confidence in themselves and the only way to rise it a little is to make others feel bad


schan616
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They tend to find and point out faults of others because they are trying to figure out ways of dealing with what they believe are thier own faults. When they are going through a particular hard time they tend to be the most critical because they are finding fault in all they do.


Celia l
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no idea


shazeldg
it's a kind of defense mechanism where in the person who is insecure makes other people more miserable than he is so that he could look at at himself as someone who is more superoir than other people. Insecure people are the ones who have inferiority complex.


scuba pants!
Rating
Well, not everyone who is mean and critical is insecure. That would be foolish to say so! Some people are mean spirited in nature.

The reason that people think this is because some people who are mean and critical are doing it in an attempt to make themselves look or feel better. For example: Some people go to walmart to feel better about themselves. They compare themselves to people they perceive as scum and think, "wow at least I'm not that bad off."

Another reason may be jealousy. For example: Let's say Joe is a lot smarter than Jim and Jim knows it, so does Joe. Jim might spend an excessive amount of time pulling Joe down to Jim's level of mediocrity. He insults Joe's intelligence because he feels insecure around someone who is better than himself in some way.

Another reason some people might say this is out of their own insecurity and perceived cruelty. Let's say Joe was in a class with Jim. Joe corrects something that Jim said and Jim feels very upset since he is already insecure. Jim might think to himself as a defense mechanism, "wow that Joe guy is really arrogant. I bet he's insecure." Putting Joe down and bringing himself up. Friends of Jim may do the same thing, "Jim don't listen to Joe he's not smart he's just doing that to make himself look better because he feels bad." In reality though, Joe is just better, more intelligent, than Jim.

Joe may tell Jim that he is an idiot, but it's true. So sometimes arrogance isn't insecurity. Joe may be frustrated living in a world full of people who are significantly less intelligent than himself. What the world perceives as arrogance is in fact, Joe's frustration with the average guy.


Christabel
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Because it would kill them to look inward. So they create this shield and don't let anything in. They bounce back with being nasty, critical, raging, you name it. It's call "projection." They throw it up and spit back without hesitation. It takes no brains to be a critic, none at all. It's easy, weak and it's lazy. They are nobody and they know it and it is easier to be nasty than correct their characters. Maybe they don't know how. The trick is...don't put up with it and mean it. Spit it all back. They'll stop. I've seen it and done it. You'd be surprised to see how fragile their little psyches are.


boo
i used to be like that:D
whell it looked for me like everyone is going to atack me so always tried to do it first...and well reading between the lines can be harmfull;)


Nobuta Power =0)
Rating
That person builds a wall, that shows one thing in one side in the other side hides his or her insecurity, that person has promise to him or herself not to show weakness and who really is.


suzangm
When someone is critical of others...they are projecting out what they perceive others to be doing to them. They "think" others are over critical of them, ( may have experience an over critical, judgmental parent in their youth).

This constant judgment of others...is a reflection of a negative self image, and low self esteem....because their "awareness is in the top peak". Where they think....they do not add up.... they project others do not either. They also put others down....to lift themselves up, to prove to themselves that others preconceived judgments are wrong (which is actually their own thoughts projected out).

stop by my blog and read awhile....as that is one of the main topics :)


WORKING OLDER SMARTER BLONDE
because they want to hurt others before they themselves are hurt.


KittyKat
This may be true of most of them but not necessarily all of them.

If I see you do something and am jealous of what you did because it was really good and/or funny and others want to be around you and praise you all the time, I may be standing back seeing this and try to bring you down by degrading you. I'm insecure and people never give me that kind of attention so in my "sick mind", the only way I can put us on the same level is to degrade you and try to bring you down to my level (or where I think I am).

Hope that helped some


chargingmadbull2000
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to try to convince himself he is not


oneworld09
I believe these people are unhappy with their own situations. Jealousy is most of it.
Example - I am with someone that I love. She works with two girls that like me. All of the sudden now that we're together they keep talking about her behind her back and trying to get her into trouble. That is obviously jealousy! These people act like everything is peachy and then turn around and try to destroy it.


christy s
well, someone who is very critical and mean, general are insecure because they may feel lonely, narcosis, or be borderline.
There are various of cause one will be mean, here is another reason, they maybe just a spoil brat wanting his or her way...

Met a few of all.... and stay away.. because I do not like drama....


Little sis
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Mean and critical people are usually raised to be that way. That doesn't mean they are insecure. Matter of fact, older people tend to be overly critical of change and very secure in their belief that they are right while everyone else is wrong. A truly insecure person constantly second guesses themselves and doesn't trust that theiy will make wise decisions. A critical person tends to make a decision and stick with it and not give it a second thought.


mind in fog
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Ok, first of all, a person cannot be seen as both, that would be a lie,. We are all giving off a personality to others, at work, co-workers, friends, and out in the public,. but to ourselves, we know who we are,. We even give off a personality to our families, and this can be different to the one we give off at work, and or with friends,. Now, first look at what the person is lashing out at, and look at how they lash out at that person, or people,. or group. In psychology, we are told about the Id, ego, and superego, they all describe several different components of our own personality, we all have to have parts of them,. when we lack more in any one of these areas,. we tend to want what we don't have, thus, the lashing out at people, or groups,. Some psychologists, may say that our problems may stem from the three categories I mentioned, I could be wrong, though,. So, in answer to your question, no, they can't be seen as both at the same time,. one is a lie, we often put on a mask to fool other people, and to try and fool ourselves,. So, best of luck in trying to help that person.,. bye,.


barbwire
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It could possibly be the way that person was treated when he or she was growing up.


ozzysmom
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They can only makes themselves feel good by making others feel bad. They can't rely on themselves to look good, so they ridicule, and put others down to make them look bad so they look good in comparison.


JUiCYGiRLxx
i think that it is because they feel bad about themselves so they try to make themselves feel better by making fun of other people. i guess it makes them happy because whatever they critisize they usually think that they are better (for example: if soozey made fun of marys hair it is because soozey feels bad about her own hair and if she convinces herself that marys hair is bad, she wont feel as bad about her own) thats what i think anyway ! and if you are getting made fun of dont worry about it because the people who mind dont matter and the people who matter dont mind =)

hope i helped =)


who?
He(she) is using this as a mechanism to prevent others from picking out their own faults. By placing others around you on a lower level you make yourself feel better even though often times you are not better.


Kayla
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It's because they want to build themselves up, and the thought that putting someone else down is putting them "below them"; thus, they gain satisfaction from that because they make someone else feel worse than they do. It's very sad.


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