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Additional Details
It's starting to change color a bit....


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MN K
Red Srcatches on my husband's back. He said he got those from working out or he cheated on me? Please help!
Hi,

This happened last night that I happened to see scratches on my husband's back (I did take 3 pictures of the scratches). The moment I saw those red scratches on his back, I was steamingly MAD and asked him how those scractches got on his back. The reason I was mad because the scratches looked exactly like someone with 10 long fingernails scracthed on both sides horizontally on his back. And the scratches are red. He told me he must have got them from working out at the gym. I said how that could happen when he had his T-shirt on while working out. They really did not look like to me that he got hurt with those scratches from working out. What do you think? Please give me any insight if does this make sense to you or anyone of you have had this experience. I don't want to be a fool in my marriage and most importantly, I can't never accept to be cheated on. We have no kid yet and have been married for almost 7 years. I do want to end this marriage now. Thanks a lot!
Additional Details
I shoud also mention that he goes to the gym to lift weights and strengthen his arms. I went to the gym to check, all the black bends (chairs) at the gym have smooth texture, therefore, it can't convince me that he got scratches from the gym.

He still keeps saying that I accused him wrong. I told to prove that I'm wrong and he just can't prove it.

I should also say that he works A LOT, away from home 13 hours daily, Sat and Sunday he works part-time too. He does bring lots of $ home but I never keep track of his work.

What should I do now? I will end this marriage if I know for sure he has cheated on me, but how can I find out this truth?

Our marriage is boring, he has NOTHING to share with me when he comes home from work. Does this make sense to you that he has no topic to talk to me at the end of his working day?

Oh, and his cell phone mins are 1500 a month and he always uses it all up. I checked but he calls many different #s so I can't have proof in 1 #. HELP!
                     




amelia_0405
well its a good thing theres no kids involved I would definitly leave him u deserve way better and im sure u dont want him bringing u home an std now would u leave him and find somebody better


BreadCollision
Your last sentence threw me for a loop -- you DO want to end this marriage now? Did you mean you DO NOT want to end it now?

Please clarify -- I can't answer unless you do. Thanks!


Tapestry6
Hon if you can't trust him then you need to get some counseling. Not all scratches marks are fingernails.


Deborah W
Go with your gut. If he will lie to you, he WILL cheat on you. I'm speaking from a situation of "been there done that". Listen to your instincts they are dead on. It sounds like he has no interest in this marriage anyway, it's just like it's an old shoe. Nicely broken in and he's used to it. He'll dump you anyway as soon as he finds someone else he wants to be with.


cheshirecat
I agree with you. Nobody gets srcatched up doing exercise...
Maybe he felt like you weren't giving him enough attention. Maybe he got bored.
There is really NO good reason for cheating on your spouse. But I think maybe you could have caused part of it... rethink what you said to eachother this past week and try to decide if you might have upset him enough to do that.
I hope everything works out for you.
-Cheshire


Lori K
Rating
It sounds like you have reason to end the marriage. It also sounds like you WANT to end this marriage. Since you have no children, I don't see why you should stay. Good luck.


rikku2writer
Rating
your quite right, somethings very wrong with his answer, i mean your not stupid. sounds to me like its exactly what they look like, if he got scratches in a gym then that's where she gave them. so now you know a place.
But tr ed lightly.


Kandie
I raise the roof if I see one scratch. Ten at the gym sounds a little shady but if you want to keep your marriage together I would just keep my eyes open because if he is cheating there will soon be other signs. I do hope that by some miracle he is not cheating on you and that you can continue to make your marriage work. Best of luck.


saulg21
I'd have him get checked for any STD's.


VampireLove
Ok, first of all...call each of the numbers on his cell phone and write down the numbers who are women (tell each person you have the wrong number) and then use these to accuse your husband of cheating. Second of all, if he is cheating, this woman could be abusing him, and he might not want to admit it, so it is up to you to help him take care of this problem.


o0PoSH0o
he could have scratched his own back and not realise it. but that would be naive, silly me. your in pain now, but you have to realise that you have to talk to your husband and make a pact, becuase i tell you somthing, lust is not the same as love. it takes time to love someone, so you have to ask him, is it love or was it just a lust thing and are you going to continue with her, ask him to be honest. if he says that it was just lust and it was somthing that just happened, then you may work out a deal with him, say as long as you ware a condom and your not kissing or loving or having an affair, i don't mind. I myself will have to probably face this one day and i will have to deal with it for what it really is, and its lust.


KenSavage
Who me?

haha


tays232003
You should post the pictures so we can see what they look like.


LB
It sounds to me like you don't trust him. You may have reason to not trust him or you may not. yes, to me, the scratches sound suspicious but not knowing either of you or your relationship it's hard to say.
What's easy to say is that you obviously have issues here that need to be dealt with. You should seek marriage counseling sooner rather than later.


mullah
Rating
go with him to his gym and casually ask him what was it that caused the scratches. Give it some time before going so that he would have forgotten that he told you this lie ( if he was lying) and then ask him.


chiseledsteel
THeres no way he got scratches like that on his back from the gym. I've been a fitness trainer for 3 years and just opened my own gym, i see some funny stuff sometimes, but no scratches like that. one or two on occasion, but 10? he couldve gotten them at work and not realized it though. if he is cheating, there will be other signs.


alwaysme
Rating
Trust your gut instinct. It's always right and he must think you are a fool to believe a lie like that. I'm sorry but you already know the answer to your own question.

Good luck and be strong.


erin.savage
Rating
I know what you are talking about and it definitely could be from the gym. I know someone that had a similar thing happen when they were laying on a weight bench working out their chest muscles.


No
Rating
You obviously have trust issues with this man.

Keep in mind there are other ways to get scratches without cheating. Like hmm...scratching his own back maybe? People do itch.

But if you have had issues with him before about women, then confront him head on and be honest about how you feel. Keeping it in, eluding to things and nagging at him will not help.

Also keep in mind you two's schedules. If you are the type of couple who is always around eachother and one of you wouldn't have time to cheat even if you wanted to, then he probably isnt. but if he spends a lot of time away, feels distant, isn't in tune with you anymore, and always has shady reasons for why he is away, then he might be cheating.

Bottom line, be open and honest and he should be too.


redneck
Rating
It sounds to me like fingernails......cheating ********


JeffyB
The workout excuse sounds pretty lame to me. What possible legit exercise could give you scratches on your back?


azkaban_prisoner75
Can't think of one thing at the gym that would give you ten scratches that look like they came from finger nails.

I bet he is cheating


London Recluse
Rating
stigmata ?


alohafridayalex
did he smell like sweaty gym, or did he smell like another woman when he got home?


mills0418
It would help to see a picture of the scratches. Could you e-mail me a pic?


candy licker
Rating
How exactly does one get scratched on their back from working out? Story sounds kind of fishy to me. Maybe he should take you to the gym and demonstrate how he got the scratches!!!


TeriR
Rating
Stop and think about it. If they were scratches from fingernails, would there be 10 horizontal scratches? Think about the placement of the thumbs. Just think about it and look at the photos you took. Do they really look like fingernail scratches?

If you have no other reason to think he's cheated on you, you got too angry too quickly. Look for the underlying problem that made you react this way. Are there other clues that he's not being faithful?

Maybe marriage counseling would help, but if you typed what you meant to at the end -- that you do want to end this marriage now -- it could be a waste of time. Stop and think. Is it possible that you're looking for an excuse to end the marriage?

Good luck. I know this is difficult.


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