are they just unlucky? did they do things to make them get it, or were they just unlucky? like why do some people get cancer and more people do not? Is it luck that the people do not have it or ever ...
Uncle, who is bald, has a very very small hard lump right at the top of his head. It is roughly 1cm in diameter possibly a bit more and it is hard. Also, some liquid came out of it today but it wasnt ...
You really can't do anything for her but be there. She will cry and scream about the unfairness of it all. You will bear the brunt of her anger and frustration but you will be the rock that she leans on. Trust in God and pray for courage, strength and grace. She will need you more than ever. Good luck, My prayers are with you and your family.
YOU DONT COPE!! what an terrible situation, i just lost my Mum to cancer she was sick only 4 months. your daughter must be young. Im 29, and it is a terrible journey when somone you love has cancer. xx
Firstly you are all in my thoughts at this very difficult time.
Completely agree with all the above and probably any further answers. My grand mother died of cancer 2 weeks ago (lymphoma and spread to lungs and all other major organs) and I was her sole carer for the last 14 months.
You will need to be strong for your daughter as she will need to be strong for her fiance. You will have to have a good support network around everyone who is affected by this.
Best advise I can give from my experience is ask questions. The proffesionals are there to help and your daughter and future son-in-law won't always be able to think of everything so write thiongs down as you think of them. Knowledge can be scary and intimidating but you can better prepare yourself for the future if you know what to expect.
I found some doctors ddn't want to discuss things in too much detail in the fear of upsetting me or the family but it was a help to know.
Cancer charities have websites and there's lots of info on the web in general so read and anything you find that concerns you (I mean this to include your daughter and her fiance too) discuss with a doctor.
If you ever find that you're stuck for info or simply don't know who or what to ask please feel free to email me, I'll be more than happy to help if I can.
Wishing your whole family the best
How sorry to hear that your daughter fiance has lung and bone cancer! I really feel for you as it will very hard to overcome... My sister in law was diagnosed with breast cancer last june , she had to have a masectomey but it had spread to her lungs and liver. The tumours in the lungs cleared up but her liver cancer tumors got worse and she lost her battle this november. She will be missed greatly ... Nothing can prepare for the loss or someone who is battling cancer... All i can say is to be positive and be there for both of them... They will need extra support and will recieve help off the mcmilllian nurses. I really feel for you all and hope a miracle will happen for you! take care and please talk about it as it does help in someways. sorry for rattling on but everyone is different and cope in many ways so do what right for you all . bye xx
you take what the situation brings on a daily bassis and cope as best you can. that is as much as you can do.
I am so sorry. She will go through really bad times but I am sure you will be there for her. Life isn't fair, is it?
All you can do as her Mum is be there,offering support and a shoulder to cry on, and she is going to really need you.
This is going to be a very tough time for all of you and I send you my very best wishes, my thoughts are with you all.
I lost my wife in May of 07, living with Cancer was very difficult
for our family. But we had group support and we were well prepared for what was going to happen. Talk everyday about
what you can do.
Shaun the Sheep
My first husband died of cancer when I was 27. It was undoubtedly the toughest thing that I'd ever had to face, but I had some bereavement counselling and came through it.
All you can do is be there for her and support as best you can. I'm sorry, but if it's in his bones and lungs then it is terminal and she will have to face his death at some point in the future.
Perhaps they can give him some radiotherapy to relieve the symptoms.
If she does have to face a bereavement then don't tell that she'll get over it or meet somebody else. Let her deal with it in her own way. It can take years as well........don't pressurise her to get back to normal after a few months.
This is a tough situation, but you have no choice to deal with it. I was diagnosed with kidney cancer and almost died in early 2005. You make the most of every moment as it could be your last! You go to sleep crying, and you say alot of prayers, even if you arent a religious person. You will make it thru it, it will be tough, but you will make it. You have no choice but to deal with it if it comes your way!
sorry to hear that my mother died of cancer you just take it day to day that was 5 years ago time is a great healer no easy way to cope just be strong for your daughter she will need your support , dunno what else to say really life sometimes is cruel
Nursing Student Ed
I'm sorry to hear about your son in law.....
From your diagnosis, it sounds hopeless.......
You cope as thousands of others have coped when their loved one gets terminal cancer.
I'll give two examples...
My grandmother, who I loved more than anyone in my family, found a lump in her breast in 1994 and never told anyone because she was scared that her cancer had returned (she had already beat cancer twice). Well, this time it spread, and in May of 1994 she was told she had brain, breast, and lung cancer. She went for a round of chemo and radiation, but the doctors said that there was no point to doing more, it was terminal, she had two to three months to live. We tried to act as normal as possible, but she was wasting away very quickly and it was difficult to pretend everything was okay. The last time I saw her alive, she was very thin (my grandmother had always been overweight), she had no hair, she coughed all the time, and she was pale. She asked me to kiss her goodbye, and I couldn't. I was only 15 and I was scared and I didn't know how to deal with my grief. I could barely vocalize a goodbye. Still, the doctors said she had a good month or two to go, so I figured I had time.
About a week later, my grandmother died on my 16th birthday, I never got to say goodbye.
My family mourned her as I never thought possible, and this was the only time I ever saw my father cry. My father finally stopped being in mourning around the 10 year anniversary of her death.
Example 2 -
I started dating my boyfriend in March of 2007. Very early into our relationship, my boyfriend told me that his father had lung cancer. I knew very little about the disease. Scott (my bf) had said that his father's cancer was terminal, he had refused treatment, the doctors had said that even with treatment that he would be dead in 6 months. I met and spent time with Scott's parents several times over the next few months, and got to see what a nice person his father was. He did continue to drink and smoke, which I'm sure quickened the progression of his cancer and worsened his symptoms. He continued with his job, he worked in the garden, he did all the cooking and cleaning at his house. Nothing changed (except that he coughed continuously and lost alot of weight).
I was driving home from visiting my parents in June of 2007 when Scott called me on my cell phone. Matter of factly, he said that his father had died earlier in the day, and that I should come to his parent's house as soon as possible. I didn't know what I was walking into when I entered their home, but I was amazed at how calm and collected everyone was. Their rationale was that they KNEW that this day would come, they had prepared for it, any mourning to be done had been done months earlier before the father died.
And this belief held true - in fact, I was the only one who cried at the wake and the funeral. Everyone else in the family had dealt with their grief earlier and this was just another day.
Deal as you feel you should. There is no right or wrong.
Hope this helps anyone dealing with a terminal cancer diagnosis.
I am sorry to hear of this.
I have brain cancer. My husband copes by spending time with me doing things we like to do. He also has his own interests (golf, guitar, stained glass) that help him relieve stress and frustration. I encourage these activities because they help him. We are both in therapy, couples and single, to help us both cope.
My husband has a wonderful sense of humor and he told me that he has learned to cope because he "enlisted" but I was "drafted". He says that he has it better than I do and that my only job is to remember how very much he loves me. He says it is his job to deal with everything else.
My husband and I dont' cry unless we get bad news from the doctor. Then we hold each other and cry for 15 minutes. Then we dry our tears, smile at each other and say in unison, "let's grab the bull by the horns and beat this".
By the way, I was diagnosed 15 years ago and I'm still here.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
My dad had multi-myloma cancer (cancer of the bones) you learn to cope after the initial shock because you have to be strong for your loved one,
Your poor daughter. You will have to be really strong for her. Always be there when she needs to talk and cry and try to keep your emotions under control. I am sure she knows you will love and support her but a cuddle and reassurance will be needed.