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Paper Kitten Nightmare
I just found out that one of my best friends has cancer. They gave her 5 months... What can I do to help her?
Like the question said, I just found out that a close friend has cancer. I don't know what to do or say. I just feel like breaking down, but I wanna be strong for her. If anyone (ANYONE!!) can offer just the smallest little bit of advice for me or her, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all so much...
smoke lots and lots of weed (just playin), and just let her be as happy as posible. don't break down in front of her, that will only make her feel worse. be as strong as possible whenever you're around her. its a tough situation...but if she's leaning on you, you need to be that pillar of strength. let her know you love her.
Aiza
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trainer53
I've been thru this several times. Be with her. Talk with her. If you want to cry, cry in front of her, why not? It shows you care, and she will be moved by it. Now is the time to let your emotions show with her, love her. Listen when she talks and be understanding with her. She may need to talk about alot of things. Just being with her will be enough, it's not so much what you say or do, just being in the same room quietly with her will be a real good thing.
Laugh with her too, if you can find a joke a day take it to her, talk about goofy things you've done together, or funny things you remember about her.
me
be the friend you have always been to her...listen,be honest about how you feel and most of all help her enjoy her time not pity her or yourself......your time to be sad will come all too soon so save it for now and smile for your friend because thats what she needs most
PiccChick12
Just be there for her. Let her know you care and that she is loved. It is ok to be upset, you are human. Sometimes crying together helps. If you notice she gets upset to see you upset, try to be strong for her, but if you need time to be sad, its ok.
I'm sorry about your friend, she is in my thoughts.
happydawg
Ask your friend what she/he would like if anything. Offer yourself. Be a good listener. I just lost a very good friend to cancer. She put up the good fight and I knew it was going to be over soon. I locked up and did not know what to say. I didn't want to cry in front of her. I am sure we both knew time was short. I still don't know what I should have done. I just listened.
jewells_40
Let her do the talking - as much as she wants; be there for HER.
I found this article to be very good and true. When I was diagnosed I had people in each of the groups.
http://www.cancerlynx.com/angels_bolters...
It is very hard to get your mind around "terminal cancer"; it is a huge set of words. Everyone goes through life thinking that they will live to a 100 or so then a guy in a white coat comes in and tells you that your "demise" is right around the corner.
By being there for her, you are helping her; she will have "lots" of open issues that he want to clean up and she needs to talk to someone; it may be you, it may not. As I said, let her run the conversation.
And remember; docs can be wrong, 5 months can stretch to 10.
Here is a resource from hospice net - for the friend of someone who is dieing; hope it helps
Peace be with you and your Friend,
Jewells
29 months and still here
lalulu1972
I dont know that any advice is appropriate at this time. She needs to go through the grieving process right now, and isnt to the stage of advice. Just be there for her, hold her hand, cry with her, be her friend as you ever would have been and dont treat her any differently than you ever did. Make the last months of her life as normal as possible. That will help her alot Ill bet. Good luck, Im sorry to hear of your news.
hswatsonaz
Spend time with her. That would be the greatest gift you can give her. Go see her every day, even if it's only for a short time. Bring her things that brighten up her room and bring the outside in.
Give her back rubs.. she will feel tired and sore from the chemo treatments (if she has them) and she will cherish each minute spent with you.
prince uranus
well, that's a bummer and that 's for sure. go ahead and break down and cry your eyes out---just do it in private. get as much of it out of your system and then go be the best friend you can be for her.
my dad passed away a year ago from cancer. he had about five months. unfortunately only the first 2 and a half months were pain free. after that the pain began to increase and his lucidity began to decrease.
i did a lot of crying then---but not in front of him. i don't know if i should have cried in front of him or not. i think he had enough on his mind with dying that he didn't need to be worried about anything else.
just go have a good cry by yourself, then go be a friend to her. i'll pray for both of you.
robsvision
Read this below article, please.
lipstick7000
There is nothing you can do except be STRONG for her. Make yourself. Maybe you and she can do some things to enjoy life. I know this is much easier for me to give you all this advice, but really, really be there for her.
nighttimewkr
Give them your support and help with anything they need done and most of all don't just help for a few weeks and forget it. The worst times are yet to come and they will need your help more and more. Also, let them have their quiet time also and ask them is there is anything they wished they had done prior to now and never got to do and then go do it.
twinklecomfort
There's nothing wrong with crying for her and with her! It's honest and truthful and safe. Let her kind of guide most of the interactions - it's her time. Think of something that you two wanted to do together and put off. Ask her how you can best be there for her - think this over completely - before you commit yourself - don't commit to anything you can't see thru to the end.
Honestly, truthfully, unselfishness, strength, lots of Kleenex - when you're more in control of you - make time to talk together alone - so she can share how you can be there for her.
There will be times to cry together - times she will need to cry alone with you there - times she will cry alone and want to be alone. Be sensitive.
After crying - get up get yourselves together go do something - if possible!
Take pictures - write in a journal - share - have Hope - she may be here longer than the doctor diagnosed.
HOPE!
sheiladoyle01
I know how you feel , I went through this last year with my sister. Just let her know that you will be there for her no matter what.Pray for and with her.And most of all be the friend that you have always been, be there for her just like before dont let this sickness change how you feel about her. And dont pitty her,she will get tired of it quickly.just be the same old you.do the same things, say the same things within reason,and let know that you love her.
Just Robert
The best thing is your support and no moping and feeling sorry for yourself. You have to ensure everyday is going to be the last and prepare yourself for it, and makes sure they enjoy them without having the drama. It has been proven to help prolong life, such as laughing which increase blood flow to the heart. So wipe the tears and ensure they live everyday well, that's being the best friend you can be
Kat
First of all...doctors don't know everything. When I was diagnosed with brain cancer, the statistics indicated that I would live for 10 months. Well, it's been almost 10 YEARS! I would definitely encourage your friend to get a second opinion.
Don't worry about reminding her that she has cancer. She's not likely to forget. Be your normal self. Don't be afraid to laugh. Humor is a wonderful thing, even if you find it in something that a "normal" person wouldn't. Follow her lead. Share your feelings. In my opinion, as a cancer survivor, it is perfectly okay to cry with her. There were many days when I was home alone that I wished someone was there to cry with me. Whatever you do, don't avoid her because you don't know what to say or do. That is the worst thing you can do.
Help is on the way :)
I will give you the power in this message to bring your Friend back to life .... BUT it will be up to you to make this information happen ... because I am sure from experience no one else is going to help..
I will be here to help guide you... just email me :)
You can turn this around but you will have to have the courage strength and desire.
Start on these steps right away!!!
First 1. Call 877-teach-me. And order the free tape and book!!!
2. Order Sam Biser's Book Resurrection at http://www.sambiser.com
3. This one is tough but start on a juice fast for 30 days. Just buy the juice man jr for about $50 bucks. Or go here for more info https://www.asseenontvnetwork.com/vcc/kordichgroup/livefoodslivebodies
4. Watch this movie trailer!
http://whatisthesecret.tv/revealed
Then buy it
5. If you need a coach with the steps to help guide you along the way, order the Sam Biser videos on ebay!!! -12 Videos- it’s called (save your life course). Order these tapes and watch them.
6. STUDY THIS INFORMATION AS IF YOU’RE LIFE OR SOMEONE YOU Love LIFE DEPENDS ON IT
7. JUST DO IT !!!
And remember I have seen people with 90% bone cancer Survive!!!
Read this
In our life’s we see people go through alot of pain, where they did not seem to really know where there going, so we searched for answers in health, relationships, and long life success. We went to the depth of the earth for cold hard facts. We care for all people and I want them to know the truth. Well all I can say is Kevin Trudeau is right on track with his books. My research does come from years of looking into the health field and I will say there our many others like Kevin Trudeau that have not come out of the closet maybe because of fear? Here are a few websites for you to look at. I will not give the websites out here but what I will do is give the name of the website and you can go to a search engine and find them right on top.
(The homeostasis protocol), (Sam Biser), (Dr Richard Schulze), (sanoviv) (hippocratesinst)
The success stories of these people are just amazing.
I believe one thing!!! All of these masters on health agree on one thing DO NOT CHASE A DISEASE!!! Because you’ll lose like millions have done already (Death). The way to knock out the disease is to give it an environment that it can’t stand to live in, like a fish out of water. Take care of your self and remember to pass this information on to the people you love and see in pain. Please take care of your self and your love ones. This time on earth is very short for all of us.
Contact me by email when you completed these steps...
I LOVE YEA
God Bless
Have a Wonderful Day... Keep your head up and don’t quit!!!!!!
smmere2000
JUST BE A TRUE FRIEND. IF SHE IS WELL ENOUGH ASK HER IF SHE WOULD LIKE TO GO TO THE MOVIES THE MALL STUFF LIKE THAT. OR LISTEN TO MUSIC.
songwriter_for_artists
Seriouslly, whether the doctor said 5 months or 50 years. Always remember that when our doctors fail us, there will always be the doctor of doctors we can go to. And that is doctor Jesus. You must go to your friend, you and another strong believer in Christ. You two must hold her hand, annoint her with oil and pray for her. There is no other name by which she can be saved. If you want to save her life. She must accept Jesus Christ with her whole heart, or there won't be any salvation otherwise. Even if you do not receive him, appoint someone who does, and take them to your friend. "Any man who believes in me (Jesus, God's only begotten son), shall never die. And though he were dead, yet shall he live."
Sonic Blue
Check out "On Death and Dying" by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. It sounds depressing, but it kind of breaks down the emotional and psychological aspect of dying that the patient goes through. You need to share your emotions with your friend. Don't fake being happy all the time just to "spare your friend". Be available to talk or just sit with her/him in silence. Be ready to see your friend go through anger and depression as well as a final acceptance of her fate. Pray continually! I will pray for you and your friend as well.
mourningangel
I helped a friend during her battle and all I did was to sit and be there for her to do the little things. It prepared me for the day a year or so later that I would have to help my Mother as she fought for her life. She fought so hard, I held her and cared for her and showed her every day how much I loved her. It's all you can do. If she needs to cry, cry with her. Just let her know you're there for her no matter what. May God look over both of you. I will be praying for you both.
futurenowthen
Pray with her, positively, it's good to cry too. I'd drink warm water, and keep my body warm. Upper body workouts followed by lower body workouts are a helper to increase energy flow. Listening to the Dr. is a good idea too.
Kilalita
As someone who's stared down the posibility of not surviving cancer, I have to say don't pressure her. There are days she'll want to laugh and have a good time and days she wants to be left alone. Make sure she knows you're there for her anytime she needs you, but realize that she's going to need time alone to cry and reflect on what lies ahead.
Depending on the type of cancer, you could also research clinical trials that are being done. Many doctors just give up when FDA approved drugs fail, but there are many drugs out there that are working wonders, they're just not on the market yet. If they say she only has 5 months anyway, what could it hurt to look?
High dose chemotherapy and a stem cell transplant saved my life and just ten years ago it was in it's trial stages. Now they're fairly common and saving patients with blood cancers.
Happy_Wheatland
Just be there for her, Don't talk about it unless she brings it up.....Pray that she don't suffer and just love her like you always have
serac
dont do anything tht might make her feel bad. Shes goin to die soon let her hav the best time ever.
kristie F
Hello there,
Well your friends doesnt want to be reminded of the illness he/she has. They want to live there life to the fullest now, so just help them to do that each and everyday. Also just be there for them becuase they are going to have good days and bad days.
Aslong as they know who there friends are they will live there life through you when they pass dont forget that.
Elaine F
friendship and alot of encouragementlove too talk to her and find out what she feels and offer support
bamahotT
Oh hunny I am so sorry.This is a tough one.The best advise is to just be there for her.She will probably go through many emotions,don't take it personally.She may even try to push you away because she won't want you to be hurt.This is going to be one of the hardest things you'll ever go through.It's okay to cry!It's good to cry.She may need to have someone to cry with.When you feel she's up to it,I'm not trying to be harsh,find out what she wants in her final days.Life support?Resuscitation?Funeral? etc...I am truly sorry!Feel free to contact me if you need to talk.♥
orange_claw
I would say to spend time with her and simply make her forget about it. Alot of people fight it till the end, others just give up. Tell her to keep her chin up and live up high.
vrandolph62
If she's physically able, take her to the mall, take her to the park, do the same activities you used to enjoy together before this nightmare started. When we got my mom's diagnosis, she was asymptomatic, felt great, other than the headache and blurred vision caused by the brain tumor, but they took that out and afterwards she was back to walking like a mile a day...until they got her on chemo. That's when she declined...rapidly...But boy, we hit that mall, me, her, my daughter (who was pregnant with my granddaughter at the time, mom left us before our Katie was born, sadly), did mega window-shopping, bought a few extravagences for mom, "just because," like her favorite perfume. She made me promise to spray that on her each day if she ever got to a comatose state, because she wanted to smell nice all the way to the end. I fulfilled that promise. If your friend has something that's a favorite of hers, like an expensive perfume or lipstick, or has a favorite restaurant, get that for her or take her there. If she can't travel, say, to a restaurant, get her favorite meal from there and serve it up to her at home or in the hospital or wherever she is. Videotape conversations with her, and explain to her that you're doing that for your own good, and it will make her feel like she has a purpose. It will make her feel like she can still contribute something.
Be as involved in her care as she will let you be. If she doesn't want you involved, then don't push for it. Respect her wishes above all else. Let her know that she IS in control of her life, regardless of her medical condition. It's all about her now. Remember that. That will help you have fond memories of your last months together, that you could bring some happiness and contentment into her life, in your own special way. Listen to her, let her talk to you, let her tell you what she's afraid of, what's she's not afraid of, what she regrets, what she's proud of. Make notes either while she's telling you or immediately after you leave her company if it makes her uneasy for you to do that. It'll help, believe me. I read over my notes from my conversations with mom from time to time. It often brings a smile to my face, jarring a happy memory of our final time together.
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